why'd you let me go
by artsymind
Summary: some things are better left unsaid. [mxn]


why'd you let me go

some things are better left unsaid. [mxn]

.

.

.

 _I took my love down to violet hill_

 _There we sat in snow_

 _All that time she was silent still_

 _._

 _._

 _._

could you be in love with me?

 _-M_

 _._

 _Tick-tock._

 _Seconds were turning into minutes._ He left.

It had not been the first time someone left her, because she was always alone, and even if she managed to let herself captivate someone, they would always realize sooner or later that she was something they would not dare to get involved with.

 _Minutes turning into hours._

The first person to leave her was a liar. She thought it was the perfect fairytale, with the flowers and little rendezvous and sweet kisses on cheeks. After six months, he was guilty of attempted murder of _Ajihad, the Leader of the Varden_. He was condemned, a silent _I'm sorry and I really love you_ on his lips, as gallows took him to another place.

 _Hours turning into days._

The second person to leave her wasn't guilty of _lying_ or _pretending all the time_ or _attempting to murder her father behind her back_. He was just _not innocent_ of stealing her heart and playing with it like it was made of the hard ropes he tied and pushed and pulled around his ship. She tried to convince herself he was just a simpler way to find where her mother's necklace came from and why it meant so much to the men of the seas.

She never found out because he left her behind in _Surda_ when he said his feelings for her were just getting too dangerous and too real and he didn't want love in his world. Just the sea and his ship.

 _Days turning into months._

She just wanted someone to rely on when needed.

 _Years._

He left, and she was starting to believe he'd never come back. It was better this way.

.

I wasn't wrong when I said fate has a cruel sense of humor. but now it's just straight mocking me. I went to town today (nobody recognized me) and heard about _Queen Nasuada_. it's selfish of me to think these thoughts but, there is no way in hell we could end up together, is there?

I'm happy for you and your people. I always knew you'd be the best person out there to take care of all us fools. I really hope you're finally getting a hold on your life.

I just hope you understand why I can never be part of it.

 _-M_

 _._

It had been three years since he flew away into changing skies upon a red dragon to never look back.

She didn't think of him as much.

Nasuada was somewhat relieved. She never received another letter that wasn't as clean or sealed like the thousands of others she was obliged to read every day. Maybe he was starting to move on, just like her.

That thought made her heart ache with a certain feeling she could not quite define. It was probably the fact that they never got and never would find out what their bond really meant – was it _love_? Was it the _idea_ of love? Did it even _exist_? – and all those _ifs_ and _maybes_ would forever follow her like a shadow.

So she sat still in the woodened chair of her office that was filled with papers to be signed and letters to be written and problems to be solved. She wore this beautiful, lacy red dress that the elves made specifically for her body to wear during the third anniversary of Galbatorix's death. There was a celebration out there going on.

She looked over the windows, gazing at the night sky, and hoped he was somewhere, with Thorn, being someone and content and just happy with himself.

Things she never would.

.

I acknowledged today that when I think about you , I'm missing you.

but then again, how can you miss something that was never really yours?

 _-M_

 _._

She wrote down a few words with an uneven calligraphy and after folding the paper in half, she opened the window and threw it away to wherever wind would take it.

.

I've been in love with you.

 _-Nasuada_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _If you love me_

 _Won't you let me know?_

 _If you love me_

 _Why'd you let me go?_

 _._

 _._

 _._

Disclaimer: _I don't own the Inheritance Cycle. All the credits go to Christopher Paolini._ _And the verses at the beginning and end of the fanfiction are from a Coldplay's song – Violet Hill. Don't own._

AN: _Let's keep in mind that English is not my first language and I'm not a pro at it, but I tried my best. If you find any mistakes please let me know and I'll correct them immediately. I always loved MxN and all the angst. Oh, and I had this headcanon going on that Nasuada had past relationships that didn't work out. Anyways, I hoped you liked it, and please review to let me know what you think!_


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